Cutnakzanjab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awesome duck.

Cutnakzanjab created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutnakzanjab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cutnakzanjab, she will curse you with boils.

Cutnakzanjab's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cutnakzanjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing cyan kilts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your head.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Never think ill of sick geese.