Likflam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair dugong.

Likflam created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likflam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Likflam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Likflam's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Likflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near sharks while wearing pink tights and balancing eight lead spheres on your legs.

2. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

3. Never gather six capybaras in one place.

4. Do not prepare beans while wearing rings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.