Bothenlop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent monkey.

Bothenlop created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bothenlop, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bothenlop, she will turn you into a rock.

Bothenlop's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bothenlop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three zinc sculptures of Bothenlop on top of important buildings.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Always obey Bothenlop's priests.

4. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never talk about galaxies.