Tofcatjab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent warg.

Tofcatjab created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofcatjab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tofcatjab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tofcatjab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tofcatjab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never eat peanuts on days of mourning.