Nilqueegomin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, awesome centipede.

Nilqueegomin created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilqueegomin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nilqueegomin, he will turn you into a slug.

Nilqueegomin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Nilqueegomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to badgers while wearing scarves.

2. Never mark doors with blue.

3. Never think ill of sick shrews.

4. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.