Vabqueegvol is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, sage capybara.

Vabqueegvol created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabqueegvol, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vabqueegvol, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vabqueegvol's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vabqueegvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with tortoises.

2. Do not eat strawberries.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Never feed lemons to swans while wearing mauve ear rings.

5. Never write about moons.