Fonstafspag is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, emotional human.

Fonstafspag created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonstafspag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fonstafspag, she will think nothing of it.

Fonstafspag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fonstafspag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

3. Never gather four snails in one place.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not keep eight rats in a large pit.