Jamloop is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic coyote.

Jamloop created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamloop, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamloop, it will try to impress you with trees.

Jamloop's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Jamloop's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.