Nartnibdut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent lion.

Nartnibdut created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Nartnibdut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nartnibdut, she will turn you into a hamster.

Nartnibdut's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nartnibdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your neck with fawn markings.

2. Never laugh near monkeys.

3. Always remove scarves before touching silver.

4. Do not take Nartnibdut's name in vain.

5. Hide if five tortoises approach from the north.