Gebfabved is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic bat.

Gebfabved created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebfabved, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gebfabved, she will turn you into a goat.

Gebfabved's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gebfabved's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to seven before sleeping.

2. Always store pineapples above ground.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never touch blood while blessed.

5. Fast once a month.