Stafvolhandin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, benevolent rat.

Stafvolhandin created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Stafvolhandin, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafvolhandin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Stafvolhandin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Stafvolhandin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in winter.

2. Do not kill goats.

3. Never point your arms toward the south during prayer.

4. Never remain standing at midday.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.