Kamnillimgupdavkem is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical hamster.

Kamnillimgupdavkem created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamnillimgupdavkem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kamnillimgupdavkem, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Kamnillimgupdavkem's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Kamnillimgupdavkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat aubergines on holy days.

4. Never record signs.

5. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with shrews.