Cusswapyikhonmob is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic wyvern.

Cusswapyikhonmob created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusswapyikhonmob, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cusswapyikhonmob, she will turn you into a rat.

Cusswapyikhonmob's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cusswapyikhonmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove shorts before touching zinc.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Cusswapyikhonmob.

4. Do not kill capybaras.

5. Never go into pink rooms.