Flispadqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, weak crane.

Flispadqueeg created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flispadqueeg, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flispadqueeg, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flispadqueeg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flispadqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.