Gigzakwik is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented goat.

Gigzakwik created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigzakwik, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gigzakwik, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gigzakwik's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gigzakwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Do not hurt moths.

3. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing shirts.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Do not chop down trees.