Cissgumont is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust wombat.

Cissgumont created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Cissgumont, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cissgumont, he will turn you into a slug.

Cissgumont's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cissgumont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always cleanse ash with water.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Never hurt rats.