Gunhasced is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omniscient goat.

Gunhasced created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Gunhasced, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gunhasced, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gunhasced's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gunhasced's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not prepare nuts while filled with envy.