Komjapapp Nellunzog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, contented centipede.

Komjapapp Nellunzog created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Komjapapp Nellunzog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Komjapapp Nellunzog, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Komjapapp Nellunzog's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Komjapapp Nellunzog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Komjapapp Nellunzog.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

5. Pray only in shadows.