Natjenab is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, quiet dolphin.

Natjenab created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Natjenab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Natjenab, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Natjenab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Natjenab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not wear shorts marked with indigo.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Natjenab.