Kemdampan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless badger.

Kemdampan created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemdampan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemdampan, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kemdampan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kemdampan's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove hats before touching titanium.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Kemdampan loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Do not laugh at forests.