Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited narwhal.

Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick voles.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Gigsawtom Botveenbum Cipmif in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.