Dosstonsom is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent mouse.

Dosstonsom created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosstonsom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dosstonsom, he will turn you into a snail.

Dosstonsom's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dosstonsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Dosstonsom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed pineapples to foxes while wearing corsets.

5. Always wear plain coats during rituals.