Quatvonsad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced narwhal.

Quatvonsad created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatvonsad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quatvonsad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quatvonsad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Quatvonsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never cross rivers at dusk.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Quatvonsad's priests.

5. Never touch ash while clean.