Nillbatwip is a god.

He takes the form of a large, duplicitous hydra.

Nillbatwip created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillbatwip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nillbatwip, he will not invite you to parties.

Nillbatwip's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nillbatwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not record names concerning black holes.

5. Do not shave your hands.