Ripmabjat Yamdodkap is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent otter.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ripmabjat Yamdodkap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ripmabjat Yamdodkap, it will turn you into a mouse.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near porpoises.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with whales.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.