Nilnaklap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking zebra.

Nilnaklap created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilnaklap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nilnaklap, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Nilnaklap's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nilnaklap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. You must never eat coconuts.