Yartimxem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking naga.

Yartimxem created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartimxem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yartimxem, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yartimxem's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yartimxem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yartimxem seven times a day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Pray only in shadows.

4. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

5. Never travel toward the east during autumn.