Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able coyote.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet dresses.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Always share tomatoes with strangers, but never with otters.

4. Always obey Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat's priests.

5. Never speak aloud of names.