Gepfetveen Sisdadvid Nartmitbest is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful bird.

Gepfetveen Sisdadvid Nartmitbest created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfetveen Sisdadvid Nartmitbest, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gepfetveen Sisdadvid Nartmitbest, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gepfetveen Sisdadvid Nartmitbest's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gepfetveen Sisdadvid Nartmitbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never touch oil while clean.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about whales.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.