Vilhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent hippopotamus.

Vilhiv created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilhiv, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vilhiv, he will turn you into a plant.

Vilhiv's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vilhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.