Godlargfad Kopnilwon Xemfarbag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, boastful scorpion.

Godlargfad Kopnilwon Xemfarbag created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Godlargfad Kopnilwon Xemfarbag, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Godlargfad Kopnilwon Xemfarbag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Godlargfad Kopnilwon Xemfarbag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Godlargfad Kopnilwon Xemfarbag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never chant in the presence of ants.

5. Do not hurt whales.