Gumbenbon Zaglagsid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unjust turtle.

Gumbenbon Zaglagsid created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbenbon Zaglagsid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumbenbon Zaglagsid, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gumbenbon Zaglagsid's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gumbenbon Zaglagsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Always wear fawn.