Litdamcin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish mouse.

Litdamcin created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litdamcin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Litdamcin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Litdamcin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Litdamcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Never prepare strawberries during spring.