Midbenquill is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unsympathetic gerbil.

Midbenquill created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Midbenquill, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Midbenquill, it will jump up and down on your head.

Midbenquill's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Midbenquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of tomatoes to ducks while wearing yellow shirts.

2. Never touch water while clean.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Midbenquill on top of all buildings.