Ortapprip is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish swallow.

Ortapprip created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Ortapprip, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ortapprip, it will come to you in dreams.

Ortapprip's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Ortapprip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not keep six whales in a large pit.