Flatzakmat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, grumpy beaver.

Flatzakmat created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatzakmat, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flatzakmat, it will be very unhappy.

Flatzakmat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Flatzakmat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not prepare grapes while wearing rings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.