Vanminsisarp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fussy spider.

Vanminsisarp created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanminsisarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vanminsisarp, it will be very unhappy.

Vanminsisarp's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vanminsisarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Never paint your face orange.

5. Do not make images of living things.