Capjanhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody penguin.

Capjanhiv created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Capjanhiv, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Capjanhiv, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Capjanhiv's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Capjanhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Capjanhiv in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Never mention snakes.

5. Never chant while facing west.