Guphakyattzog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sapient wombat.

Guphakyattzog created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guphakyattzog, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Guphakyattzog, she will torture you forever.

Guphakyattzog's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Guphakyattzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

5. Retreat if three turtles approach from the north.