Fodguphomtif is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient grasshopper.

Fodguphomtif created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodguphomtif, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fodguphomtif, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fodguphomtif's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fodguphomtif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mix carrots with oil.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

5. Always stare at clouds.