Botkemabtik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, moody parrot.

Botkemabtik created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Botkemabtik, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Botkemabtik, she will come to you in dreams.

Botkemabtik's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Botkemabtik's Holy Commandments

1. Botkemabtik loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not leap at rivers.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Never run in summer.