Bidbarngud is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair badger.

Bidbarngud created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidbarngud, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bidbarngud, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bidbarngud's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bidbarngud's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

2. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

3. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

4. Always look after injured snails.

5. Do not hurt turtles.