Madarpflig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, benevolent zebra.

Madarpflig created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Madarpflig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Madarpflig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Madarpflig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Madarpflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near voles while wearing green coats.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Never adorn your feet with violet markings.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.