Damvonkpit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy shrew.

Damvonkpit created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damvonkpit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Damvonkpit, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Damvonkpit's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Damvonkpit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple moths for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Never travel toward the east during winter.

4. Do not prepare limes while wearing kilts.

5. Never feed lots of rice to gulls while wearing magenta scarves.