Cetminlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast toad.

Cetminlarp created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetminlarp, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetminlarp, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cetminlarp's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cetminlarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cetminlarp eight times a day.

2. Never eat oranges on days of mourning.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cetminlarp.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with capybaras.