Gepkimzag is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous lobster.

Gepkimzag created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepkimzag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gepkimzag, it will turn you into a slug.

Gepkimzag's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gepkimzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never allow sheep to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Gepkimzag loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

5. Never talk about dark energy near manatees while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing three carbon spheres on your legs.