Labfagrak is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless pigeon.

Labfagrak created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Labfagrak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Labfagrak, it will remove you from existence.

Labfagrak's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Labfagrak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Labfagrak.

2. Never fashion tools from bone.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.