Vadjintof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, able raven.

Vadjintof created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadjintof, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vadjintof, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vadjintof's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Vadjintof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red moths for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Do not consume carrots at dawn.

4. You must pray to Vadjintof six times a day.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near seals while wearing pink ear rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your head.