Lipwipham is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful beaver.

Lipwipham created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipwipham, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lipwipham, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lipwipham's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lipwipham's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never cross crossroads at midday.

4. Always cleanse blood with water.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.