Ominfot is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish tapir.

Ominfot created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominfot, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ominfot, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ominfot's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Ominfot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the east.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.